God,

I just got home from a benefit concert hosted by Deliver Darfur.  100% of the money raised tonight was going to be donated to the International Rescue Committee.  We watched a short video that explained a bit of the genocide that Darfur is experiencing.  We also listed to some good music; overall it was a good evening.  Here’s the thing, God, I don’t mean to minimize the tragedy that is going on in that country, but I am finding it hard to find a response to that situation that will be in line with how you feel about it.  They are your children that have chosen to pick up weapons against each other.  They are your children left without home or family or food or hope or peace.  I know that you love your children deeply, but I’m having trouble know how I should love them too.  The thing is, so many of your children are hurting and being hurt by other people, and I’m afraid that I don’t have enough compassion for all of them.  But how can I care for all of the honest causes that are shown to me?  I don’t have enough energy or money or love for the genocide in Darfur, the young girls in Thailand sold as sex slaves, the Mexican kids caught up in running drugs and guns, and the millions of people throughout the world that are dying of malnutrition and starvation.  How can I care for all of the people who need help?  It so easy to see why people become numb to the reality of life in most of the world.  What can I do?  Should I pick one thing that pulls at my heart and throw myself completely into it?  Or is it better to spread out my abilities and resources to as many as I hear about?  Is it heartless for me to say that I am sad about what is going on in Darfur but not do anything about it?  But really…what can I do?  Is it really my job to do anything?  I mean, you’re GOD.  You are the creator of the cosmos.  You don’t need me for anything.  But if I’m trying to shape my life after yours then I feel like I should do something about it.  I feel a bit helpless myself.  I don’t want to become the type of person who just tosses some money at a cause expecting that to be all that can be done either.  I realize that in most of these cases money isn’t going to fix the deep-rooted problems, but what else do I have to offer? I know I’m babbeling on here, God, but this is really stuck on my heart right now.  I need help to see where and how to help.  Give me some vision to see what I can do.  I don’t want to become calous to the brokeness around me and the world, but I feel like if I don’t do anything soon my heart will start to grow hard and I’ll just feel overwhelmed by everything.  I’m trying to listen for your voice and I’m sorry for all the crap I listen to before I listen to you.  I need help to shut things down and listen, really listen.  Teach me about compassion.  Show me what it looks like and why you care about it.  I need to know that compassion is really better than numbness, because sometimes I’m not so sure it it.

Less of me, God, more of you. Amen. +

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